Benedict Arnold Was Here

I woke up on Monday and found that my building had been graffito-tagged by someone named Traitor. Which, first, let me say that given the sheer idiocy of this act, I am really impressed that 'traitor' was spelled correctly.

Monday was the day after Easter Sunday so when I came out of my apartment that morning I thought maybe it was like a religious thing. You remember that part in The Ten Commandments when all the dudes put lambs blood on their doors to protect their kids from the evil green misty fingers of doom? But then I was like, hey Moses isn't Jesus. Then I stepped over the upside down writing and realized what it actually said.

"Oh, Boy."

Devoid of any meaning, the whole thing becomes pretty hilarious. Anyway, I have no idea who did it or why. There are only three units in my building and I (the librarian) did not betray anyone recently. I don't think it was my Yoga-training, computer programming upstairs neighbor either. No, my money is on the boys on the 3rd floor. The self-proclaimed Xtreem Renegade Riderz. I'm not making this up (or exaggerating the spelling). This group of 4-6 individuals live on the top floor and own roughtly 14-17 vehicles all of which have Xtreem Renegade Riderz stenciled on the windshields. They are fast and they are furious... apparently.

The funny thing is, when I bump into them in the laundry room or pass them in the hallway they are super nice. All smiles, at least one of them has kids, and they even pitch in around the building, like when my landlord cheaps out and begs his tenants to "help him out" instead of shelling out for a grounds crew.

So maybe someone in the crew lost his pink slip and now is forced to ride the bus. The other dudes were like "Oh yeah, we'll totally pick you up" and then they were busy with their illegal street racing and forgot? I don't know. You're guess is as good as mine.

Anyway, I just felt compelled to share this because it was so crazy. I wanted to post it on Monday but the shit went down at work, and you know what they say: when the shit goes down, you better start runnin'.


Hammer said…
it could be worse. you could live next to the Icy Hot Stuntaz. Same basic premise though...except the Icy Hots are a bunch of posers.

Do the Xtreem Renegade Riderz do illegal street racing or what?
Ahren Sievers said…
OH man!!! I totally forgot about the Stuntaz. They be the illest!

I think the funniest thing about the Renegade Riderz is that I have no idea if they actually race. I kind of get the feeling that they started their crew back in '99 after seeing Fast & Furious and then the dream just slowly started to die. And now they all have Xtreem Renegade Riderz written across their windshields as they go to pick their kids up from day care.

But like I said, I have no idea. They are like fast riddles wrapped in furious enigmas.
Hammer said…
"dream just slowly started to die"- I LOL'd. nothing like a bunch of guys seeing a movie, thinking "dude, sweet, we oughta do something like that", spending all kinds of money trying to emulate people in a fictional movie, then the 'dream' doesn't live up to the fiction....but...isn't that life in general anyway??

it would be funnier if one or all of them bought 'grocery-getters' and put that Xtreem Renegade Riderz on the windshields of said grocery getters.

you should start a "gang" and call yourselves the "Xtreem Renegade Deejayzz"